Last night I woke up in the middle of what can only be termed as a nightmare. I think the dream may be a little prophetic, but I am not sure in what way – I will leave that to the amateur dream analysts.
Setting: The dream takes place in a courtyard of a school. It is warm and tropical(ish). Bright sun. I have the sense that I have just finished working intensely on something theatrical with the kids. Then someone else begins to speak. It is my former colleague and the person who was instrumental in opening up a theater arts teaching position so close to home, Peg O’Hara**. She begins an emotional speech about how theater is important in the young students lives. She is not crying but speaking from her heart. She begins the second part of her speech by talking about the importance of everyone on stage including the backstage crew. I suddenly have this realization that she is giving the speech that I NORMALLY GIVE. She stole my speech. Then she goes about signing kids up for backstage positions. She has kids raise their hands and tell her what they want to do.
At that point I realize that she is going against everything I try to instill in the kids: professionalism, choice, commitment, responsibility, respect for the process/profession, etc. But I am too afraid to speak up. This is in the dream mind you, in real life I would have had no problem standing up to Peg.
I dig deep and speak softly, “that’s not how we do it.” No answer, no movement and nothing changes. I speak a little louder, “Wait – how come we are doing it this way this is not how we do it?” A little shuffling. “WAIT. How come we are doing it this way. We don’t do it this way. There is a process!” It is at that point that I see the head of my former principal rising over the heads of the crowd, Martha Landozowitz** She looks around and looks confused. Then she says “What about the kids that just signed up?” It takes me off guard, but I say “They can still be involved and they can still have their positions, but there is a process. They have to sign up and fill out the application – that is what I am trying to teach them.”
Everyone looks a little confused, but I have the sense of accomplishment and a sense that I have won.
And……scene. I wake up.
**Names have been changed to protect the instrumental people in this dream. Instrumental, because without them I may not have been pushed out of my past career path and into the current one.